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3 Lessons for Outsiders Looking to Thrive in Silicon Valley

By Molham Aref, Founder and CEO of RelationalAI

It’s no surprise that I eventually ended up in Silicon Valley.

I grew up reading computer magazines that talked about how companies like Apple, HP, and Sun were innovating in the valley. We all know that if you want to act, you move to Hollywood, and if technology is where your aspirations lie, you move to Silicon Valley.

Before I made the move, I’d spent the majority of my career working in Atlanta for companies based out of Minneapolis and San Diego. After selling my last company and embarking on my current startup, I felt I owed it to my new team to take the company to Silicon Valley to see what all the hype was about and realize our full potential.

So, after six plus years of living and working in Silicon Valley, what does it take to thrive in this unique, hyper-competitive, tech-focused environment? Here are three lessons I’ve learned.

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1.Building organic, genuine connections is critical to growing your network

Upon moving to Silicon Valley, I quickly realized nearly everyone around me was also in the technology industry. This wasn’t unexpected, but it was a big departure from the social dynamics I’d experienced in places like Atlanta or New York. In those cities, most of the people I’d meet outside of work—parents of my children’s friends, for example—were doctors, lawyers, teachers, airline pilots, and execs working for large companies, etc. In Silicon Valley, it feels like you’re always within a ten-foot radius of someone who works for either a tech giant or a startup.

Being constantly surrounded by tech professionals creates a plethora of natural networking opportunities, but it’s critical to focus first and foremost on forming genuine connections. Some of the most positive business connections I’ve made happened organically; including one that was catalyzed by a casual conversation about the history of databases that took place right in my own living room.

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So in addition to formal networking opportunities, always stay curious, friendly, and open to learning more about your peers—you never know what serendipitous connections could occur. That being said, it’s also important to know how and when to talk business when the time is right, which brings me to my next point.

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2.Learn to “speak the language”

I was introduced to the first two Silicon Valley investors I met with via friends. We had an hour to meet, so I figured we’d spend some time getting to know each other before diving into business. I’d been used to the slower pace of conversations in other environments, but quickly learned that the protocol is different here. Investors are inundated with companies looking for capital: For every one startup they invest in, they might meet with 99 others. Time is of the essence, and VCs are busy.

Newcomers need to quickly learn to “speak the language” of Silicon Valley. Have your pitch deck ready, be prepared to answer key questions, and concisely communicate core information about the opportunity, your team, and your total addressable market. Learn to work how VCs like to work to ensure interactions are positive and you’re getting the most out of every opportunity.

Thankfully, I found that other entrepreneurs were happy to show me the ropes and coach me on what the VC model is all about in Silicon Valley, which further underscores why those relationships are essential.

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3.It’s not a silver bullet for your career

It would be a mistake to come to Silicon Valley thinking VC money grows on trees and success is guaranteed. Like anywhere, you have to do your due diligence and put in the work necessary to be successful. It’s a hyper-competitive setting and people don’t suffer fools, so to speak, so newcomers should be prepared to work hard and learn a lot. On the bright side, there are clear advantages: You’re surrounded by people with expertise and access to capital. But even still, it takes considerable effort to get it right.

The people who do best in Silicon Valley are those who truly understand value creation and what goes into building a company—bonus points if they’ve already made it work outside of the SV bubble. (The perspectives and experience I gained working in other locations directly contributed to the positive outcomes I’ve achieved in Silicon Valley.) Those who find success here tend to be very good at what they do and have fresh, innovative ideas. A good track record doesn’t hurt, either.

People can be cynical about Silicon Valley sometimes, but I’ve found that there is a kindness to it that isn’t often talked about. It’s full of smart, curious people, who’ve learned a lot and are usually willing to share it. People have—and want to support—big ideas in a way that I haven’t experienced anywhere else. So if you’re thinking about taking the plunge, I’d say go for it (and heed the advice above).

[To share your insights with us as part of editorial or sponsored content, please write to psen@itechseries.com]

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